I’m not tryna get more: I get what I get.
Great but not better than
I won’t think of people anymore
I am that . Eternal witness
I enjoy everyone and I don’t think of them
Who is confident?
Vanity or self doubt?
I need this good feeling to pull me thru
The confidence of my true self
Not mistaken for the separate one
I AM the mind maker.
I have to find
Before I go
To pick up the phone.
Plenty of space here
And plenty of unknown
It’s what I wanted
The freedom from I
The magic potential of it
Don’t fill it up with the phone
Pollute your perfect emptiness
Don’t need to..
I have more energy for me
More of my own good energy for me
Could I see that giving to her so much left me less for myself? Love, Attention.
Does it bother you when girls are rude bitches to you?
No, and that’s where my superpower is.
(The soul memory)
Seeing her gives me love quanta
These girls are nothing to me
I am it
But not just that
I know what it is , it’s me and beyond
I know what the juice is
I feed myself so I don’t need to be fed
I fed others as well easily without thinking about it. It won’t irk me that others fail to
It only did when I wanted them to
But if I give up that expectation
I’d never be disappointed.
Who is she
I don’t even care now
It’s just me ..
Just a cool memory
Of our 18 year old selves
I’m our imagination
I promise I won’t need to rely on anyone but you
My own holy imagination
The goddess lives within me
I vow to forgive every transgressor
I vow to be generous
I can be
I promise I won’t fixate on any.. one.. woman or person
They won’t be it
Who is it? You are it for real
You know as I do
I’m only interested in the most aware
Knowledge and awareness
I release anyones opinion of me from my radar
I no longer have anyone
And it’s so beautiful
I won’t make the mistake again..
I can still reach out but I won’t need to
Nothing to lose or gain from this game
It isn’t that serious
I have been satisfied already by the Holy Ghost
Thank you cosmic mother and father
I don’t need any sex in particular
Not even the one in my head
And the one in my head was best
My dreamm.. my creation
I never lost my soulmate lover..
She is changing I’ll admit
But I never lost her
Lilly get under my covers
Exist only in my mind this time
Timeless dream space , eternity of other realms
It’s not just you who I want to meet
But you are the conduit in touch with me
Through you I meet her
Goddess of life and death
Fascinated by the pseudo place living and dead still meet. Mental realms..
I promise I won’t be drained
To some lame famous tang
I promise I will live up to my potential
I found my artistic genius in a memory of
When we first were creative
We first knew we had excellent taste
Looking back we were kids
Not even cool or cute
But different in a good way
And not afraid of anything
True punks, you more than me
But not completely
Never completely free
We chain ourselves with mentality
I consciously devote to the clear mind
Help me improve
My mood has quality and makes beauty
But I continue some things out of habit
Thinking of anyone at all
Delusional. Craving them sure
Separate sexual from emotional
I’m not sure how
And substances to maintain the mood
Substances out of habit and ritual
I admit it results in psychic outpour, is it worth the organ damage
The weed. The guitar. The markers.
The yoga, the prayer
The meditation, the prayer
The ganj made it so all I could
Do was meditate.. on the headbuzzing it created. The headbuzzing like I’m trying to stop it but not. trying to make it flow all
Away . All Prana out open aura too
Holding no tension
I’d rather write than look at other peoples content one more minute
Absorbing is exhausting and I’ve done so much more than enough of it. Tomorrow I will keep creating
Not empty gazing
Creating with my state
Feeding not being fed
I will always be one who gives food not one who asks for it
I am grateful it protected me from a variety of negative emotions
Relying at all on others for your emotional state
Thank you memory of a dead girl again reminding me of who I am. How cool we used to be, can be, and are
I’ll show em it
I’ll show em it
I’ll be inspired
I am inspired
Lit from within not seeking lights outside
I won’t even pray for a pleasant day
With a pleasant date
The height of my desire
And yet the most simple
No one meets their soulmate, they learn better in loneliness.
I don’t look for my soulmate outside of me
I do but..
Only after manifesting her first within do I expect her arrival
Like a reflection in the mirror
When I was chasing after all these girls..
I forgot how cool I am
And when I remember, I don’t act like that
Trust my gut
Will I fall in love with a young woman
What type of qualities will there be? And in the great infinite pile of qualities, which ones are the most special?
Just that I need her now
And she’s the one who will show up next,
In front of me
And bet to death I’ll love her powerfully
Black sphere magnet in the blood
Like the pupils which dilate
Salivating chemical moon
I will love her because she’s in front of me, not because of her qualities.
I will be minimally irritated
As I have no preferences
Just let me be
As a I am
Yes I go to the drawing board again
In search of myself